


Sex Education

by AustenlySummers



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Dom/sub, Humor, Light Bondage, Literature, M/M, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 14:53:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5874997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AustenlySummers/pseuds/AustenlySummers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>America wants to give England a lesson in 'safe sex'.<br/>Only problem?  America's using techniques he learned from France.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sex Education

    England was noticing a trend.  And a bit of an unwanted trend.  America--for whatever godawful reason--had become far too friendly with France over the past few months.  At first, Arthur waved it off as stereotypical British paranoia.  But after America's trips to France became more and more frequent, Arthur began to wonder just what those two were plotting.  As it turns out, he didn't have to wait long for a visit from America.    
    It had started with an unexpected visit from the obnoxious nation not two months before the next scheduled World Meeting.  England was sitting in his parlour enjoying a novel and a cup of Earl Grey when the front door was nearly broken in with the intensity of the knocks.  Arthur--reasonably startled--spilled tea all down his front and onto the yellowed pages of an old collection of Shakespeare.  As Arthur cursed and scrambled out of his seat for something to blot up the mess, guess who decided to let himself in without invitation?  There was really no need to guess.  America waltzed right into England's parlour.    
    The older country was in quite a state.  His ironed white button down was stained with tea, dripping onto his slacks, the ruined book lay forgotten on the side table.  Poor England was trying to soak up the mess with the dishtowel he had been recently embroidering--the only thing left out available to mop up the spill.  England glared as America entered the room, and he was tempted to throw the now emptied teacup at the bastard's head.  He restrained, if not only for the thought that clearing up shattered porcelain was not something England wanted to do today.    
    "Heya, Artie~" America crooned, slipping past England to take up residence the armchair England had only just left.  "You got a little something on your--"  
    "Oh, _shut up_ ," England interrupted, smacking America with the end of the dishcloth.  He managed to knock America's glasses askew.  England decided it was at least a partial victory.  He finished blotting up as much as the tea from himself as he could before turning his undivided attention towards America.  "I don't remember inviting you," England noted tersely.    
    "Cuz ya didn't."    
    England frowned.  Not exactly the response he was looking for.  He leaned forward and rapped his knuckles against America's skull.  "Hello?  Anyone home?  Christ, Alfred.  How dense do you have to be?"  
    "Ow~" America flinched away from England's mistreatment.  He rubbed his head and muttered, "I'm not dense."  
    "Obviously you are.  Who invites themselves to someone else's house without any form of forewarning, hm?"  America, apparently.  But England wasn't about to voice that one aloud.    
    America shrugged and responded, "I just wanted to see you, Artie.  Thought I'd surprise you."  
    "Yeah?  Well, you know I don't like surprises," Arthur answered coolly.  "You can leave now.  And don't do that again."  
    "What?  Leave?  But I just got here!" America whined.    
    "I don't care.  Leave now."  
    "But I wanna talk to you."  
    "We have a meeting in less than two months.  You can talk to me then," England reasoned.    
    "No, it's important!"    
    Realizing America was not going to give up on this one, England just sighed and threw his hands up in defeat.  "Fine!  What is so bloody important, Alfred?"    
    "So I was talking to France..."  
    This already couldn't end up anywhere good.  Arthur shuffled back to sit in the chair across from America.  He nodded, silently urging America to continue despite his own misgivings.    
    "...And France was telling me that I gotta fix my education system."  
    "Oh?"  Arthur arched an eyebrow.  He hadn't expected that.    
    "Because the sex ed is really bad."  
    And there it was.  Arthur let out an exasperated sigh.  He inquired shortly, "And what does this have to do with me?"    
    "Well, France told me I gotta ask you about your sexy education."  
    "It's sexual education, for one," England corrected.  "And my education system is none of your business, America."    
    Alfred shrugged.  "France told me you'd say that."  He shot Arthur a look that made the Brit feel a bit apprehensive.  Arthur furrowed his brow.  He ventured, "What else did France tell you...?"    
    "I can't tell you.  It's a secret."    
    "Bloody Christ, Alfre--"  Arthur was cut off as the American very well near tackled him out of his chair.  He ended up on the floor, sprawled on his back beneath America.  "Alfred!  What the fuck do you think you're doing?  Get off me!"    
    Arthur knew it was pointless to try and wrestle America off him, but England sure did put up one hell of a fight.  Unfortunately, he lost the struggle when he was just a bit too rough in trying to throw America off him.  He rose his head, knocking his temple against the bottom edge of the armchair.  He blacked out instantly.    
    It was several hours later when Arthur finally drifted back into consciousness.  And when he did he found himself spread eagle on the bedspread, completely naked, each limb tied to it's corresponding bedpost.  He groaned as his gaze adjusted and he could focus in on the very solid weight sitting on his chest.  America.    
    "Bloody hell, Alfred."  The insult came out weak.  He coughed a bit and realized why it was so hard to talk.  The idiot was near suffocating him under his weight.  "Alfred, get off!"    
    "Sorry, Artie.  Gotta keep you still.  It's part of the rules."    
    Arthur made a face as he looked up at the other man.  "What rules?"  
    "The rules," America repeated, looking annoyed at Arthur's ignorance.  "One of the rules is that we have to practice 'safe sex'."    
    "Safe sex...?"  
    "Yeah.  France told me all about it.  Said I needed to try it with you."  Alfred shrugged and took a bit of the burger he was eating.    
    That pissed Arthur off even more.  So this was that bloody frog's fault?  He was the one sticking these idiot ideas into the idiot American's idiotic head?  Not to mention that the idiot in question was chomping down on a burger in his bed!  Arthur glared up at America as best he could from this angle.  "America."  
    "Mm?"   
    "Untie me."  Arthur's tone was venomously low.  "Untie me this bloody instant."  
    "I can't.  Rules."  
    "Since when did you ever listen to rules?"    
    "Since what-his-face signed the thingamajig that says I have to follow the laws of the people or whatever."    
    England winced at the botched mention of America's independence.  Trying to ignore the sting of nostalgia it brought along with it, Arthur repeated, "America, you arse.  Untie me this instant or I swear to god I will punch in that stupid yank face of yours!"  
    America laughed, spraying Arthur with hamburger bun crumbs.  "HA!  Nice one, Artie~"  America absently gestured to the other's prone position.  "I'd like to see you try.  You're kinda tied up, remember?"  He laughed again and took another bite of his burger.  "LOL, you should see your face!  You look _sooooo_ pissed."  
    "Because I am, you dolt!" Arthur snapped back.  "Untie me, America!"  
    "I can't.  Safe sex."    
    "I don't know what France told you but--"  
    "France told me that safe sex is tying your partner to the bed so they don't fall off and hit their head."    
    Of course he did.  And America was just idiot enough to believe him.   
    "And that I need to try it with you because apparently you don't teach it right in your education system," America finished off.  
    "You absolute bloody idiot!  You incompetent stupid arse.  That is NOT what safe sex means! I swear to god--"   
    No such luck.  No amount of pleading or begging or threatening would get England out of this once.  And it didn't.   
    At the end of that particular exchange, an exhausted--and horrible rope burned England--laid in bed as the idiot American remained snuggled up beside him.  Despite the other's assurances that this was teaching Arthur the proper method of 'safe sex', Arthur knew better than that.  He also knew now what all of those visits to France were for.    
    "Mm, Francis Bonnefoy.  That's the last time I tell _you_ any of my kinks."    
    With a soft, self-deprecating smirk, Arthur rolled over and pulled the sleeping American into his arms.  
       
    


End file.
